Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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