I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
where am i from again
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
