omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
