Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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