Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
