Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
