btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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