After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
