drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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