Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
