Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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