I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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