Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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