If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
