I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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