so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You need Xanax blowdarts
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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