why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!