I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me