yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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