We're facebook friends in real life
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize