Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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