Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
