so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
