; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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