i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
