I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
as a side note pls kill me
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
