I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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