Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
