i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
