He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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