Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
