she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
