I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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