Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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