Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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