Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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