He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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