I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
