Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
