Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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