id be glad to
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
