I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
