if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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