fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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