i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
