I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
