And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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