I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
