watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
