Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize