I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
