i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
