I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
