i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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