I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
