Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
