am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
