I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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