Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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