the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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