she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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