you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
